The First Breath After Drowning

Disclaimer…not for the faint of heart.  I just started writing.  My heart is heavy and full all at the same time.  I hope this does not come across as insensitive.  Anyone who knows me knows that my greatest strength and weakness is sensitivity.  I feel other’s pain as deeply as possible without living it...blessing and a curse.  So this may bring tears, but I hope the end brings relief like…

 

The First Breath After  Drowning

I’ve never drowned

I’ve never lost someone I love to the water

But I know some who have

And I’ve seen ones who have

And I’ve spent the last few days seeing

And feeling the weight of those who have

And I ache inside for them

I hold my breath as they fight for theirs

I sigh with relief when they take one

I fill with pride for my fellow men and women

 

Who braved the treacherous waters

To lessen the drowning

To give more seconds, or minutes, or days, or hours, or years

To those they pull from the water

I watch in heartbreaking disbelief

A whole city, several cities, a region

Slip into cold muddy water

Hours and years spent building houses

And minutes and hours and days and years

Lived in homes that will never be the same

Memories washed away in the current

Photos, treasures, collections, family keepsakes

…Things

Under inches and feet of RAINDROPS

And to those who swam to shores that were once highways

Or drifted to dry land at the water’s edge

Or lifted into helicopters in baskets

Or dragged into flat-bottom boats

Or floated on refrigerators and mattresses

Or clung to stop signs and telephone poles

The lucky ones whose heavy hearts didn’t sink them

They may never feel dried of the floodwaters again

But they have another chance to take another breath

To live another life

A better life

To find more joy because of the pain they will carry

To share the courage and strength that was shared with them

With others during their storms

I pray that the water on their souls that may never dry

Only brings them a greater purpose

A reason to fight harder than the current

A reason to love deeper than the floodwaters

A reason to flow as peacefully as the receding tide

A reason to speak words that were once muffled

A reason to swim the rocky waters



Not all were gifted with the dramatic rescue

The crowd of those left behind were blessed with something

FAR GREATER

Their first breath after drowning was heavenly

It was perfection

And will be forevermore

The muddy waters were instantly dried

They were met with instant warmth from the cold

Infinite joy abounded

Their party wasn’t a heavyhearted celebration

But a never-ending fiesta

They weren’t yanked ashore by rescuers

But ushered in by a shepherd

Who led them to STILL WATERS

Refreshing to their soul

Their first warm meal

Was a banquet

They needed no blanket to warm cold bones

They were wrapped in clouds of grace

And arms of love

And joy abounding

And waves of mercy

And waves of grace

Their first breath after drowning

Was weightless!

What a blessing that will be.

Fed Up Friday

This may be the pregnancy hormones speaking, but this is a place for me to share my thoughts, feelings, and art, so I am going to share them. I have never posted anything political on my Facebook. Politics are not my thing. I am a teacher and a Christian and feel I often don't have enough information or the right words to put my thoughts out there for the world to see. I know once I hit publish, I may not be able to take back anything I have said. The internet can be altered but it is there for the finding. And I may regret this, but while I have the courage to do so, I am going to share what is on my heart. This showed up on my newsfeed today.

I didn't react the way some people may think. I didn't jump for joy as some of my friends and family may have. And I don't regret that. 

And I didn't cry over the direction our nation is headed as some of my friends and family may have. And I don't regret that.

I was somewhat indifferent to the picture above on my newsfeed. Politics have never been my thing. I am able to separate my spiritual views from my political views whether that is right or wrong. I realize that not every American is a Christian and accept that is why sometimes the laws of my country do not line up with the laws of the book I try to live my life by. So for that reason I did not feel strongly one way or another when I saw this article. 

But the responses to the article brought me to tears. And I haven't been able to get over the feelings that the responses gave me. I thought about posting some of the hateful comments people made in the name of Christianity to prove my point but I don't think more negativity needs to be out there. And part of me hopes the people will see the hate in their words is not a reflection of the love of Christ. I know in the past I have said things I wish I hadn't in the name of my religion. I have been known to talk about a speck in another's eye while ignoring the plank in my own. I am not innocent in the judgment department. But I feel one way I have grown in Christ is that I have learned to love where I used to judge. I have learned to bite my tongue when I used to yell. I have learned to look within before pointing fingers. 

I know my God is not ONLY a God of

Love. I know he is also a God of wrath. But I have also really searched for the heart of God in this situation while my heart broke over the hateful words spoken by my brothers and sisters in Christ. To me this is not a matter of right or wrong or good or evil. This has become a matter of love and hate. And while I may not know what the heart of God is feeling today, I do know what the heart of Christ would be. All I could think is what would Jesus do if he were here today.  What would he do if he scrolled through his newsfeed (which he probably wouldn't waste his time doing) and saw that article. I don't think he would cry over a court decision or shake his finger in someone's face or share the link and write above it "our country is going going to hell in a handbasket." He knows without him that is where we are going anyways. 

And he may not change his cover photo to the rainbow flag. But he sure as hell would not be spewing words of hate and wrath. He would probably be giving a hug to the person whose heart was broken by those evil words. He would probably go on with his life loving on people...all people. He would do so knowing that the God who was using him to give FORGIVENESS AND GRACE AND LOVE to his people was still on his throne. And he would make sure that the love overshadowed the hate. And he would probably make it known that his God is a God of LOVE. And I plan on doing the same.