Best laid plans...

My dear friend just wrote a post about what it feels like to teach future generations of young people (If any of my students are reading this, that is what you are so stop complaining that a teacher is calling you that. It is a term of endearment.) Go read what she said before you read what I said....

https://molleeshannon.wordpress.com/2015/11/05/making-bootstraps-out-of-bare-feet/

Seriously...read before you proceed!

I have taught far too many "Sadies" than I would like to believe in just five years of teaching.  They have different stories. Their baggage is different.  Their pain originates from different circumstances. Their stereotypes have different lingos.  They speak a different language.  Their yo is a y'all and their glock is a rifle. They come from different types of "rough neighborhoods." The thorn in their side comes from a different vine. But the stories are the same...empty plates, absent fathers, incarcerated mothers, pain that is driven to addictions, insecurity that breeds disorders, neglect that leads to rebellion.  

I tell these students to turn their circumstances into motivation to succeed. The question is, will that success be enough to change the direction of their future? I sure as heck hope so...and pray so...and NEED so.

I would love to say that teaching them is a joy, that I love going to work every day. At times that is true. But it is also painful and exhausting at other times.  Seeing progress in these students is exhilarating.  My heart races when I see something has finally "clicked" in those hardened minds. Sadly, I must admit that often a voice whispers, "I hope the world doesn't break them."  And I do that often, I hope. And I pray. And I love them. Because what else is there to do but love them and teach them?

And hope and pray that my lessons and prayers will be enough.

PS-Now let me say this before I get hate mail: this is not just about the small town that I teach in. I am not saying that this is every child I teach. I am not even saying that this is the majority of my students.  There are amazing parents and hard-working families whose love comes in the form of taking on every extra shift they can get to provide for their families and wishing they could be home more than they are.  There are many students who go home to stable happy homes filled with love and enrichment and home-cooked meals. Many students come to school with full bellies and hearts, eager to learn and take the world by storm. More power to ya...that was me, too. But it is this other group of students that weighs heavy on my heart at night because they don't have all of those things.  

And I say y'all, too, it was just a play on words. I'm not hating. This is my community I'm writing about. I'm raising my kids here, too.  I just pray that somewhere along the way something or someone figures out how to ensure that hard work and determination and dedication lead to some form of success for EVERY CHILD...EVERYWHERE...not just in my tiny corner of rural America.

I would be YELLOW

If I was a color, I would be yellow...

No, not in the physical sense of the word.  I do not want yellow skin.  I don't wish to be jaundice.  I would like to keep a healthy liver, thank you very much.  That jaundice is a messy thing.  No bilirubin lights for me...parents of premie babies, you know what I mean.  I have been there.  Click here to read the story of our little NICU baby.

I mean if I could personify a color, it would be yellow. 

Yellow is the color of sunshine.

Yellow is bright and fun and not scared to stand out.

Yellow says, "here I am.  Take it or leave it."

Yellow is unapologetic.  What you see is what you get.

Yellow tends to be a bit obnoxious.  Oh well.  See if I care.

Yellow is, "uplifting and illuminating, offering hope, happiness, cheerfulness and fun."...according to psychologists that is.

Yellow is the color of creativity, and I would like to think I am creative...if I do say so myself.  I may not be a lot of things, but creative is one thing I am.

Yellow is speedy...this is both a strength and weakness.  When I get an idea in my head I tend to chase after it with abandon.  This drive has proven to be my greatest strength at times, andmy biggest flaw at others.  It gets me to my destination faster, be it victory or defeat.

Yellow is impulsive.

Yellow is great for children.  It grabs the attention of the minds of kiddos who are always on the move.  It is the color of youth.  "Tiny humans" like it.  And I am a HUGE fan of "tiny humans."
            And for those of you who thought that was a Grey's Anatomy reference, it was.  I love that
            show, even though they keep killing off my favorite characters (spoiler alert).

And, last but not least, yellow is the color of smiley face stickers.  Who doesn't love a good ole smiley face sticker?

Some scientific findings about color came from THIS WEBSITE.  I found this website to be very informative.

Today is Just Tuesday

Today is just Tuesday

Today I have no plan or significant words To share with whoever is interested

Or bored

Or needing inspiration 

I don't blog or write out of habit

Or necessity

I don't feel the need to post every day

Or every week

Or month for that matter

I am not making profit per view of my site

But if someone would like to teach me

I'm game for that 

I normally only write when I am inspired

Or angry

Or excited

Or hurt 

But today I am none of those things

Today is just Tuesday 

And for some reason I was compelled 

To share this nothingness with whoever

And something tells me 

Someone needs to read it

Maybe it's you

Or maybe it isn't

Today was nothing special

Nothing extraordinary 

Today I just taught

I just was

There were no breakthroughs

I didn't have all of their attention

I didn't have one of those

"That's why I'm a teacher" moments

No one made me lose my temper today

I didn't cry over someone else's pain

I didn't feel like teacher of the year

(Even though I had my day planned out

And an essential question on the board

Which is a miracle in itself)

But I don't feel like I failed them either

I picked up my boys

Hit the good ole Soddy Daisy Wal Mart 

For some blue and gray yarn

For my next afghan order

Got some seizure meds from Walgreens

Watched my son play catch

Read him a book or two

Fed my other son a bottle or two 

And wrote up this blog for you 

Maybe, or not

All this to say

Today was just Tuesday

And that is okay with me

I lived to love another day

Maybe tomorrow will be

More than just Wednesday

Or maybe not

Maybe it will be wordless

Or maybe filled with thoughts

Maybe I will be inspired

But tonight this is all I've got

But, I must say this guy is mighty cute.

...And this guy