Lives and Families Ripped Apart at the Border

I already know the arguments some of you will make against what I have to say.  I get it...politics, laws, history, pride, crime...BLAH, BLAH, BLAH!!!  However, I am absolutely positive that if you are saying any of these things, you have probably not looked at the bigger picture.  You probably haven't seen any videos or heard any cries or looked at any numbers.  You can probably tell me how many immigrants have committed crimes, what drugs are coming from where, and how many jobs are being taken from "AMERICAN CITIZENS."  You will probably share that our economy is being effected by these people.  "They are breaking the law, you know?  They deserve it."

Okay, does that cover all of the excuses?  Now that you have all of those facts off of your chest, let's look at the other side, the one that is not blinded by politics.  These are PEOPLE.  These are people like you and me.  And maybe some of them have drugs or criminal histories or whatever you are so terrified of.  But I am positive that the extreme majority of these people are coming here because they want something better for their FAMILIES.  Whatever they are running from they fear is far worse than the possibility of prosecution.  They see America as a place with opportunity and safety and hope.  These are things our country prides itself in and boasts about it and sings it loud to all the world.

"God bless America,  land that I love.  Stand beside her and guide her through the night with the light from above.  From the mountains, to the prairies to the oceans white with foam.  God bless America, MY home sweet home..."

We are the best the world has to offer.  Look at all we have and all you can do.  Our children can do anything they want to do and be anything they want to be...as long as they are blessed enough to be born to American parents.  The world is theirs for the taking if they are United States citizens.  If not, they don't deserve any of it.  If they were born on the other side of the border, they are worthy of nothing.

They come here for the dream that we boldly proclaim to the world with the hope of a better life.  And what happens?  We strip children...YOUNG and OLD...from the arms of their parents and put them in cages until we can move them to a more "humane" location.  This humane location is apart from the parents they were born to and loved by their entire lives.  I cannot imagine having my children taken away from me.  But what I cannot imagine even more is me being taken from my children.  These children no longer have parents and we think we are protecting them.  Even the worst criminals' families are cared for with more compassion than this.  Some of you say, "these are criminals and criminals lose custody of their children."  There are social workers whose job it is to find the most loving home for those children.  Those homes they are in are people who desire to love on children who need love.  They do so knowing that as soon as the courts decide the biological parent is capable of caring for their child, the child will be given back into the arms of someone who may not be ready for that responsibility.  These children at the border are being torn from their parents by the THOUSANDS with the hope that they will be placed in foster care within an average 57 days.  There are 11,785 children in government facilities for short-term care, most of them there for almost 2 months.  One of these short-term care facilities was a former Wal-mart, home sweet home to thousands of children who have just been stripped from the arms of their parents.  You may say that they should be treated like juveniles in detention.  The juvenile detention facilities for Americans hold an average of 12 children, not twelve-hundred children.

I teach at an elementary school with about 250 students.  In one month, since the new zero-tolerance policy began,  2,342 children were separated from their families.  Imagine 10 of my schools children being whisked away to live in a Wal-mart.  It has been reported that the "caretakers" working in these facilities have been instructed not to hold or comfort crying children.  Not only are these children living without the comfort of those they love, they are living without the comfort of anyone.  No one is responding to their cries.  They are confused in a world where nothing makes sense anymore and their families are nowhere to be found.

My mind keeps going back to a time in history when children were stripped from their families and put behind fences by the thousands.  The difference is that we are not sending them to gas chambers, shaving their heads, tattooing their arms, or putting them in stripped outfits and putting them to work.

Excuse me while I go hug my children.

Another Half-Staff Flag

Here we go again
The world spins around
The flag goes up and goes back down

I didn't know what it is about a lowered flag in front of a school that brings out such strong emotions in me.  But today it hit me.  It is because that flag always comes with unanswered questions from innocent children. 

Every morning during the week, a fifth-grade student proudly rushes into the building to grab the flag and raise it on a pole in front of the school.  Often, he is so excited to do so that we have to remind him to walk.  This morning, without prompting that I am aware of, he knew where the flag needed to be.  Yesterday,  a school of 3,000 high school students and their teachers were victims and/or witnesses of a school mass shooting.  And a 10 or 11-year-old student knew about it before breakfast this morning.  It is heart-wrenching as a teacher and as mother to know that these YOUNG children cannot and should not (maybe??? I'm torn) be shielded from the events that took place yesterday.  Tragically, this could have and may one day be their story if things do not change.  So we have to prepare these young children to know what to do if "another school shooting" happens to them.  It feels like we are preparing them for a potential bomb in a time of war.  But they have to know what to do, right? 

The questions I was asked today by a group of 4th grade children were questions no one has trained me to answer.  We are rightly taught that if we don't know the answer to a question, we tell the student we don't know.  It shows them that teachers aren't perfect and we do not know everything and that is okay.  We are lifelong learners who seek to find knowledge when it is lacking.  But what about when your student asks you a question like, "why would someone walk into a school and try to kill a bunch of people?"  I can't just ask Siri that one.  I have to tell them I don't know and that there isn't a logical answer.  Not only is their teacher not perfect.  She doesn't know all the answers.  There is no way to take pride that you stumped your teacher this time.  Today they looked to me to have an answer to their deepest questions and I can't find one.  They want so desperately for me to answer them in a way that makes them comfortable, that eases their anxious fearful little minds a little bit.  But there are no words.  All I can do is say that I am so sorry that they have to feel this way.  I have to tell them it can happen anywhere.  I have to tell them we need to be prepared.  I have to tell them that this is why we tell them not to be silly during a lock-down drill.  I have to tell them it is very important to stay absolutely silent and away from the windows and doors.  I have to tell them that I will do everything in my power to keep them safe if something like that ever happens here.  Then I have to tell them that I don't know what else to say.

Every morning during assembly, right after breakfast and right before our students go to their class, we make promises to each other.  The students say:
As a student of ___________ School
I respect myself and others, too.
I'll be on task, on time, never late.
I'll make good choices
ALWAYS SAFE.
I'll be responsible for every chore.
I'm a ____________ tiger,
HEAR ME ROAR!

And the teachers reply:
As a teacher at ___________ School
I will engage every learner, everyday
In higher order thinking
Through innovative lessons
In a SAFE environment.

What happens if our pledges to each-other are not enough?  What happens if our students keep their promise to be safe, and we keep our promise to maintain a safe environment and it still isn't enough???  I pray that day never comes!!!

A Blind Mermaid and Her Quilt

This Christmas gift was one of my favorite ones of the year.  And the gift wasn't mine.  This gift was given to a girl who could not see it.  Cora's grandmother ordered her a quilt but said she needed it to be a sensory experience.  My gift came in the form of a picture of a smile bigger than any smile I have ever seen.

It was a challenge unlike any I had been given.  I set out to get as many different textures as I could possibly find that could still be put in a washing machine after being loved on with children's hands. 

Though the colors may not be visible to the blind or vision-impaired owners, I wanted to make sure it was visually appealing and identifiable by those with normal vision.  I wanted it to be able to be a conversation starter for the person it belongs to.  I feel like it can be a great way to show people the way they interpret the world with their hands. 

The ocean floor is made with a thin brown and yellow ribbons that have a rough and scratchy texture.  I made sure to select a thin ribbon because I know that texture may not be appealing to some individuals.  I just want the textures to mimic the objects they represent.  The brown and yellow ribbons represent the sand and tiny shells on the ocean floor.

Each square has a different pattern of waves and different types of ribbon material and texture, just like the waves of the ocean.  Some of the waves are completely sewn down to  the quilt while other ones are not sewn down so they can be played with and twisted and pulled on. 

There are random loops sewn into the quilt. 

 Some of the ribbons have threaded tassels.

The square in upper-right hand corner is bright yellow with rainbow-colored ric-rac ribbon in a star shape to  mimic the sun.  The sky has diagonal orange lines about an inch apart to represent the rays of sunlight.

Triangles are sewn throughout the quilt between some of the squares.  These triangles can be folded back and forth like ocean waves.

 The other squares of the sky are white.  Some of them have sailboats and world maps on them.

There is seaweed sewn into the bottom of the quilt as well.

There are several elements that go along with the quilt.  They are made with a variety of materials, many which are not washable or would shrink when washed.  They are all backed with felt so they can be placed on the quilt and moved around as if the quilt were a playmat.

 One is an octopus made of stretchy silky fabric.

 Another is a  decorative bow for wrapping presents, representing coral.

The jellyfish is made of reflective shimmery purple fabric.  The tentacles are bouncy and stretchy.

 The starfish is a coarse spongy material.

For the turtle, I used a green-jeweled compact mirror and glued on ribbon loops for the legs, head,  and tail.

The fish has squishy material with a bumpy texture, mimicking the scales.

I sewed Cora a mermaid and made sure she looked as much like her as I could.

I also made a cloud out of minky fabric with blue yarn that looked like rain.

I created a sun out of sparkly, glittery orange fabric.  I did not sew it on to the quilt because the material was not washable, but the rainbow ric-rac helps her to find where the sun belongs on the quilt.

I would love to make more of these sensory experience quilts.  There are a variety of uses for these quilts.  They are great for blind or visually impaired individuals, playmats, tummy-time blankets, Alzheimer's lap blankets, and quilts for those with unique sensory needs.  It would be great for children who are restricted to the bed  for medical  reasons. Most importantly, it is perfect to cuddle up under and sleep with.

There are a variety of directions I could take this project.  It is not limited to an ocean theme.  The next quilt of this sort I plan to take on is a mountain/woodland-themed blanket.  I will include trees, rocks, a campfire, and a tent for the detached items. 

I would love to create thousands of similar sensory experience quilts.  Please contact me if you are interested in a custom quilt like this one.

Quite a Mighty Mermaid

This little mermaid has crossed seas and nation borders to be in the family she is in.  And soon a quilt will cross many miles and a state border to wrap its warmth around her.  But this quilt is a bit different.  Many times, when I finish a quilt, I find myself sending its new owner a message something along the lines of "I just finished your quilt!  I can't wait until you see it!"  This time it will be different.  Pretty soon I hope to be able to say, "I just finished your quilt.  I can't wait until you FEEL it!"

Rewind for a bit of a back story...
This little mermaid has a grandmother she calls Golly.  And her Golly Grandmother is an angel of a woman my husband and I (and I am sure MANY others) call Mama Dixie.  I found myself in the presence of Mama Dixie for the first time in January of 2008.  I had just stepped confidently into the career path of special education.  A professor of mine recommended that I do my practice teaching at a small private school called Scenic Land School.  As soon as I walked in, I was hooked.  I loved the homey feel of this tiny school with spunky teachers and a super handsome after-school tutor.  Mama Dixie was one of those spunky teachers.  And super handsome after-school tutor is now my husband.  One afternoon in late February, Mama Dixie pulled said tutor to the side.  She advised him that he better ask me out on a date or he would regret it.  He told her that we had been dating since Valentine's Day.  So obviously, this woman knows what she is talking about.  She taught us what teaching should look like and feel like.  She was our Chattanooga Mama since both of our Mamas were on other sides of the country. 

Then Mama Dixie was the Mama that moved away to be a Golly to Miss Cora.  Cora was adopted from India.  She is blind.  So her Golly decided she needed a special mermaid blanket.  Cora loves mermaids. Read this story if you don't believe me: "A 6-year-old blind girl met a mermaid in Memphis"!    So I made her a half-blanket half-playmat and a mermaid that looks...and feels...just like her.  I am going to do my very best to help her feel all the wonders of the ocean: the grains of sand, the gooiness of seaweed, the waves, the squishiness of an octopus, the stringiness of a jellyfish, the pokiness of a starfish, the roughness of coral, the ripples of seashells, the puffiness of clouds, and the streaks of sunrays reflected off of the water's surface.  I want her fingers to help her glimpse the ocean.  It will be quite a mighty task, but she is quite a mighty mermaid.  And every blind mermaid deserves to feel the ocean, don't they, Golly?

The First Breath After Drowning

Disclaimer…not for the faint of heart.  I just started writing.  My heart is heavy and full all at the same time.  I hope this does not come across as insensitive.  Anyone who knows me knows that my greatest strength and weakness is sensitivity.  I feel other’s pain as deeply as possible without living it...blessing and a curse.  So this may bring tears, but I hope the end brings relief like…

 

The First Breath After  Drowning

I’ve never drowned

I’ve never lost someone I love to the water

But I know some who have

And I’ve seen ones who have

And I’ve spent the last few days seeing

And feeling the weight of those who have

And I ache inside for them

I hold my breath as they fight for theirs

I sigh with relief when they take one

I fill with pride for my fellow men and women

 

Who braved the treacherous waters

To lessen the drowning

To give more seconds, or minutes, or days, or hours, or years

To those they pull from the water

I watch in heartbreaking disbelief

A whole city, several cities, a region

Slip into cold muddy water

Hours and years spent building houses

And minutes and hours and days and years

Lived in homes that will never be the same

Memories washed away in the current

Photos, treasures, collections, family keepsakes

…Things

Under inches and feet of RAINDROPS

And to those who swam to shores that were once highways

Or drifted to dry land at the water’s edge

Or lifted into helicopters in baskets

Or dragged into flat-bottom boats

Or floated on refrigerators and mattresses

Or clung to stop signs and telephone poles

The lucky ones whose heavy hearts didn’t sink them

They may never feel dried of the floodwaters again

But they have another chance to take another breath

To live another life

A better life

To find more joy because of the pain they will carry

To share the courage and strength that was shared with them

With others during their storms

I pray that the water on their souls that may never dry

Only brings them a greater purpose

A reason to fight harder than the current

A reason to love deeper than the floodwaters

A reason to flow as peacefully as the receding tide

A reason to speak words that were once muffled

A reason to swim the rocky waters



Not all were gifted with the dramatic rescue

The crowd of those left behind were blessed with something

FAR GREATER

Their first breath after drowning was heavenly

It was perfection

And will be forevermore

The muddy waters were instantly dried

They were met with instant warmth from the cold

Infinite joy abounded

Their party wasn’t a heavyhearted celebration

But a never-ending fiesta

They weren’t yanked ashore by rescuers

But ushered in by a shepherd

Who led them to STILL WATERS

Refreshing to their soul

Their first warm meal

Was a banquet

They needed no blanket to warm cold bones

They were wrapped in clouds of grace

And arms of love

And joy abounding

And waves of mercy

And waves of grace

Their first breath after drowning

Was weightless!

What a blessing that will be.

Worth Every Penny

I am not a shoe person and could really care less about this finished product but this is a perfect example of why handmade items cost so much more than what you see in stores. Imagine spending all that time and effort and passion and thought then selling these shoes for $40 or $80 or even $100? Maybe if people knew what went in to every handmade product they wouldn't complain or walk walk away from something they love. Maybe they would smile and say thank you and that it was worth one day of work.

Think about how much you are willing to pay for a mass-produced dress you can't live without, and compare it to what is being asked of you by the crafter. Next time you even consider buying a piece of art, handmade jewelry, customized clothes, custom furniture, blanket, quilt, or hand-stuffed teddy bear, just do it! Don't sit and wonder if it is worth the cost. It is! Even if you have to save up for a little while, do it. It was made lovingly with YOU IN MIND, even if it wasn't a custom order. Every letter, brushstroke, bead, carve, loop, and stitch took time the crafter, designer, creator, crocheter, or seamstress could have spent doing anything else. Spend your hard-earned dollars proudly knowing not only what a blessing you are being to that person's family and or business, but that you are showing you appreciate the creativity, time, and heart that went in to what you are walking home with.

I will think of this video the next time I question if the price I am asking is too much. I will ask whether I am valuing my work and time high enough. I will remember the hugs and thank yous and oohs and ahhs every time someone rolls their eyes and turns up their nose when I tell them the price of something I have made. I will do my very best to never devalue my work in worry that someone will turn up their nose at what I am asking. Just know when we give you a price quote, we understand the hard-work that you put in to earning the money you are giving us. We realize it may be stretching your budget, or you may have to save up for a while. But we also know that if you are willing to hand over your hard-earned dollar for something we make, you love what you are getting in exchange. It means so much when someone appreciates the passion we put into each product. All this to say, understand we aren't trying to rob you or be greedy or thoughtlessly throw out a number. And thank you from the bottom of our hearts those of you who know exactly why you are spending what you are. It means the world when someone says in one way or another, "this is worth every penny."

If I tag you in this post it is because you either don't know how to express this to your customers, or you have been one of those customers who have seen this in me. So keep up the good work, crafters, and thank you valued customers.
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE SHARE!

Why I Don't Pray Out Loud

Almost 4 years ago, I joined what my church calls a small group.  It was smallish then.  It started as a small house party at one of the couples' houses on the lake.  It was a nice little cookout with burgers and dogs.  I was feeling all nervous to be around a lot of adults I had never met.  I was a first-time mom going on little sleep, toting a two-week-old newborn around.  I sat quietly and took it all in because I really do feel uncomfortable around new people, especially when they aren't little people.  But God knew I needed an icebreaker so he let said newborn have explosive diarrhea through his clothes and all down my lap.  The host of the groupstart quickly jumped up and got me fresh clothes and changed his diaper.  So began my journey with the "Soddy Daisy Small Group."   

Many of the couples that were at that cookout are still part of our group that meets almost every Wednesday in one of the families' homes.  And month-by-month, more families join in on the fun.  There were months things just "didn't feel right" for one reason or another.  Sometimes spending our Wednesdays without our boys when we had a million other things to do seemed a little overwhelming.  Sometimes conviction happened and we got our feelings hurt.  Sometimes we just felt out of place.  Then, somewhere along the way, I realized I needed these people.  A turning-point in my feelings about this group was the day my second son was put in the NICU and the group wrapped their arms and their resources and their prayers around him and our family.  The feeling that these people were our family was overwhelming.  It opened my eyes to the fact that these people were put in my life for a reason, each bringing something into my life that was missing. 

Together we have laughed (probably more laughing than anything else), we have cried (probably second more than anything else), we have eaten (just as much), we have prayed, and we have lived.  We have lived a lot of life alongside each other, the good, the bad, the ugly, the downright heartbreaking, and the fantastic!

But there are times like tonight that I realize that I need these people...that we need each-other.  I don't pray out loud because I don't have much to say, but when I do, I can't seem to get the words from my heart to my mouth.  But oftentimes, they can make their way to my paper.

Tonight, there was a church-wide worship service.  That means that our church is packed to the brim with people and packed to the brim with children.  Tonight, my husband and I helped corral the children.  Tonight, while most of the congregation was singing "No Other Name," we were watching Bob the Tomato explain that he was "stuck between Iraq and a hard place," and Larry the Cucumber sing about not wanting to use a sippy-cup.  Then we were coloring doorknob hanger that said "Believe in miracles and trust in Jesus."  Parents were beginning to pick up these Papa John's pizza-filled little bundles of joy.  Then one of my dear friends from my small group rounded the corner for a hug.  I could tell she was holding back tears.  After years of occasional tears, you begin to learn what that pre-cry face looks like.  So there was a hug followed by a phone call.  I'm not a big phone person, but I felt like calling her anyways.  I am glad I called because I have felt EXACTLY how she is feeling tonight when another woman in my small group said to me what I said to her tonight.

Paraphrased phone convo:
I feel like such a terrible person.  I give my best to my students and my son, my husband gets what I have left, and God gets my scraps.  Tonight during the prayer I heard God saying he was disgusted by my heart lately.  I am selfish.  I am tired.  My husband is a saint.  He deserves better.  But I am so tired.

Paraphrased answer...worded much better than the phone convo for the same reason I don't pray out loud:
That is NOT the voice of God.  That is the voice trying to convince you it is God and that you are not enough.  God doesn't see all that you think is wrong with you.  God smiles on you because you are a rockstar teacher, rockstar mom, rockstar friend, rockstar wife, and rockstar daughter-of-God...not at all in that order.  He created you because the world needs a YOU and my family and I need a YOU and your family needs a YOU.  Even at your worst, you radiate Christ.  God knows you are tired.  He knows you love your son even when you growl at him because you just want sleep.  He knows you adore your husband (and so does everyone who knows you).  So just keep being awesome.  Fill those journals with honest prayers and uplifting verses...and I will do my best to take my own advice.  Jam to worship music on the way to school (or don't...you don't have to).  Love on your boys with all the love you have to give, but don't be so hard on yourself.  Communicate.  Unfortunately we didn't marry mind-readers.  That would get boring anyways.  Smile.  And when you can't smile, cry.  Have fun.  Don't be so hard on yourself.  Let him cry it out sometimes.  But not always.  Serve where you can.  Let those who love you serve you when they can.  And as that crazy-wonderful husband of mine likes to say: "Keep DOING YOU!  God's got you, girl!"

Her tears tonight led me to share the words other people have shared with me at times when I needed them.  I hope she's not the only one needing to hear these words passed along.  Share them with someone who needs to be reminded that they rock...who needs to remember how God sees them...who needs to look past their shortcomings and give themselves a break...someone who needs to know that God is smiling at their mess.