How I do it ALL

Summary of what may (or may not) be a lengthy post...that may or may not be read by many people...who may or may not find it interesting...

I DON'T do it all...OR NOT "ALL OF IT" is getting done.
I can't tell you how many times I have heard recently, "How do you have time to do everything?"  
There is no quick answer to that question, so here is the not so quick version.  I am certainly not doing it all.  Here is a picture of my life right now.
Yesterday- 

• I woke up and took a shower while my amazing rockstar of a husband (insert this superlative anytime I refer to Brian) woke up Shea (my two-year-old son), took him potty, got him in his high chair, started Mickey Mouse Clubhouse to keep him company while he ate his pop tarts, fed our two dogs, woke up Patten (our six-month-old) and changed his diaper, laid him in his swing, and made him a bottle for me to feed him while Brian took a shower.  Summary: Brian got most of it done.
• After getting himself ready, as I finished feeding Patten his bottle, Brian gathered up all of the stuff we needed to take with us for the day.  This included: all of Patten's bottles he needed for the day, both of the boys' winter jackets, Shea's backpack, and everyone's lunches (that he had packed for us the night before).  Patten finished his bottle. Then I helped Shea put both of the dogs in their crates, give them their treats, and turn on the radio to ESPN for some sports-centered background noise.
• Side note: on more than one occasion, I have forgotten to secure the doors to their crates on the times that Shea shuts them before I get there.  Because of course, everyone knows a two-year-old knows how to latch a dog's crate without assistance. NOT!  The most recent time we came home to both dogs in our bed with no damage, but other times we were not so lucky.  One of the other times, our dogs decided to snack on our comforter. Not everything got done.
  
• My suitcase still lies open on my floor halfway unpacked from our Christmas vacation we got back from right after Christmas...something that didn't get done.
• First day back with my students since Winter Break-surprisingly no catastrophes.  I realized I actually missed those little stinkers of mine so it was nice to see them again.  I am getting to co-teach, or whatever the new term for what I am doing is, with a teacher I love who I haven't gotten to teach with yet, and I am pretty excited about it.  I had to confess to the students that I will be learning along with them.  I had to beg two different professors for Cs in both of my history classes in college because it is my weakest subject.  I almost got a D in 2 classes, and I am an A student!!! Bring on the high school history!  I think I will be learning along with them.  I had to share with my students that I am not perfect.
•  We got home and Brian and I split the "when we get home" chores pretty evenly I think.  Brian got the laundry started. I unloaded the dishwasher and re-loaded the dirty bottles and sippy cups.  Shea went back to his high chair for his afternoon snack and Mickey, which Patten has already developed a liking for.
• I got started on some of my sewing projects while Brian played with the boys.  I had to clear off enough of the table to make room for my project.  The organizing of the table and cleaning of the kitchen will have to wait.
• Brian made a yummy chicken and rice dinner for us.  I don't do it all. 
• I did an online video chat session with some other folks from the National Seizure Disorder Foundation.  It lasted a little over an hour.  During this time, Brian tucked Shea into bed. Sidenote: Shea is finally going to sleep in his own bed and sleeping there all night long until we wake him up in the morning!  What a long way we have come from the sleepless nights not too long ago.  By the time I was done it was time for Patten to have his pre-bedtime bottle.  Have I said how amazing he was, yet?
• Brian and I watched a Netflix documentary and went to bed to get ready for another day of the craziness.

Today-

• Morning looked much the same as yesterday and many days before.  :)
• School 
• Met Brian at Outback for dinner because we had gift cards.  Our boys were little angels, which they often are when we go out.  Patten stayed in his car seat in the sling and quietly looked around the restaurant.  Shea had fairly sophisticated conversations with us about how he pooped in the potty two times at daycare today.  I hope the older people behind us were not mid-bite when he decided to exclaim it proudly.  Then he shared with us his desires to be an umpire like his daddy.  Now he is at home practicing just that.
• As soon as I walked in the door and got settled I changed into my penguin PJs and Frozen sweatshirt.
  
• Remember how I told you he pooped in the potty twice while he was at school?  Well he did not gift us the same opportunity at home.  He decided the living room was the perfect place this time.  

Here is the moral of the story.  I have done some thinking.  I think judging from my posts about teaching, one might imagine I am one of those teachers that starts every day smiling and welcoming her students in with hugs, the one that stands at the front of the class and without a word draws all focused eyes and quiet mouths, the one who has her lessons neatly written in a lesson plan book, the one that has everything in organized little folders, the one that loves every minute of her job.  Sometimes I am some of those things...scratch that, I am only occasionally some of those things.  But I love my students, so there's that.

I think  judging from my posts about parenting, you may think I am mother of the year, that I read books to my boys all day long, that my house is clean and Shea's knows where each of his toys are to go at the end of the day, that they are both in bed by 8:30 and sleep through the night.  None of those things are true.  But I love those boys like crazy.

I think judging by my posts about sewing and crocheting, you may think,  "how does she have time for that?"  You may think I don't sleep, that I have a cozy little craft room with cute little cabinets to show off all of my quilts and fabric and yarn.  The truth is I don't have a craft room so all of my half-finished or only-dreamed-up-but-not-started projects are kind of taking over the house.  I have only made 2 blankets for our family.  I am too busy making fun things for other people.  I have the kitchen table half covered with my quilt-in-progress.  But I feel that what my yarn and fabric turn into are kind of worth the clutter.  They make me happy and make other people happy, too.

So here is the real truth.  Yes, recently I have been very busy.  I have made quite a few mermaid tails.  I have crocheted some hats and blankets.  My sewing machine has been busy making quilts.  And I have blogged on a semi-regular basis (but it doesn't take long because I don't take time to edit it, what you see is what you get).

I have done a lot.  But I have certainly not done it all.

PS-This post was inspired by a post I read by Olivia Muenter called What I Instagramed Vs. What Was Really Happening, or my Entire Life Is a Lie...worth reading for sure.

6 Reasons Why I Loved "The Snoopy Movie

1. I loved the COMPANY.  My two-year-old has been struggling to have "nice hands" at daycare lately.  He seemed to have gotten over his biting phase...knock on wood...and transferred right into hitting his friends for no reason. This has been one frustrated embarrassed mommy/teacher. But with the promise of seeing "The Snoopy Movie," as he likes to call it, he "turned it around." This week he has had nice hands and a nice mouth. So this afternoon a dear friend of ours watched our four-month-old and Mommy and Daddy took Shea on his first solo date since becoming a big brother. He even lugged his new Snoopy to the movie with him. Insert awwwwwes here.

His old Snoopy had to be banished to his closet because he had chewed on its nose for so many nights we were afraid he would chew it off in his sleep. Pause in remembrance of "Blue Snoop Dog." Thanks Blake and Kaitlyn for the dearly beloved almost furless friend.

2. Charlie Brown and Snoopy love baseball just like Shea.

3. Snoopy looked oh so cuddly. I am not obsessed with animation or special effects or design, but all of those things in this movie were fantastic! Despite having very modern animation, it still seemed very comic-cartoonish. We watched the 2-D version of the movie so Shea and I wouldn't have seizures, and still Snoopy looked like you could reach out and touch him. For some reason I noticed that Snoopy had just enough peach fuzz on the top of his head to make him appear petable.  

4. It seems my teacher friends and I aren't the only ones who hate standardized testing. But they still threw in "standardized testing type vocabulary," like diversified portfolio, conspire, aerodynamic, intellectual superiority, reproach. Get those kids ready for the ACT early why doncha. 

5. Charlie Brown had a pretty cool quilt on his bed.

6. Spoiler alert- sometimes the good guy gets the girl.

What I'm Listening to...Wednesday

Sometimes when I can't hear God speaking, I hear him sing over me.  Sometimes I have a hard time putting into words what my heart is saying.  So I sing to him words others have sang to him before.  Sometimes I hurt for the world and become numb to the stories on the news.  And it takes somber songs to help me feel again. 

Just to give you a peek into my day at school...here is what it looks like.  Our school has 5 classes a day.  When I don't have paperwork stacked up to my neck...which is the case most days...here is what my schedule is supposed to look like:
1st Block-I go into an English 10 or English 11 classroom, and provide a helping hand to students who need a little extra time.
2nd Block-Sometimes English 11 and sometimes working on paperwork in my classroom.  This is a classroom that is shared with another teacher.  She teaches 10 students an online math course.  So this paperwork I have to complete must be completed with 10 restless chatty teenagers in my room. 
3rd Block-I teach a reading and writing intervention class.  However, oftentimes this becomes a homework help session.  Frequently, my lessons are replaced with another teacher's lesson.  But hey, they have to pass their other classes too.
4th Block-This is my "planning" block.  Most days, other teachers send their students my way during this time to read their tests to them.  This is part of my job, so no complaints here.  Somewhere during this block I also have to find time to eat.  Most of the time this is bites between test questions. 
5th Block-English 10...helping out the teachers and kiddos.

Second block on paperwork days is my time to drown out the noise (and the students' not so quiet voices of not so pleasant conversations).  So I flip on my Jesus station on Pandora and let it pick what song I want to hear.  But today I had a feeling it was God picking my songs, not some random computer program.

The first song that caught my attention was "This, Too Shall Be Made Right" by Derek Webb
I recently wrote another blog post about this song, but up it popped again.  If you would like to read that post, click here.

"People love you the most for the things you hate
And hate you for loving the things you can't keep straight
People judge you on a curve
And tell you you're getting what you deserve
And this too shall be made right

Children cannot learn when children cannot eat
Stack them like lumber when children cannot sleep
Children dream of wishing wells
Who's waters quench all the fires of hell
And this too shall be made right

The earth and the sky and the sea are all holding their breath
Wars and abuses have nature growing with death
You say we're just trying to stay alive
It looks so much more like a way to die

And this too shall be made right

Yes, there's a time for peace, there is a time for war
There's a time to forgive and a time to settle the score
A time for babies to lose their lives
A time for hunger and genocide
And this too shall be made right

Oh, I don't know the sufferings of people outside my front door
And I join the oppressors of those I choose to ignore
I'm trading comfort for human life
And that's not just murder, it's suicide
And this too shall be made right"

This hit way too close to home.  It seems that this world of darkness and hate and pain are closing in.  They are getting way too close to home.  I try not to watch the news.  I know, as a teacher, I should stay up to date on current events.  I could really care less.  I would rather tuck my head in my turtle shell and stay in my happy bubble with my amazing husband who I adore and adores me,

and our entertaining "why"-asking two-year-old,

 and our newly-giggling three-month-old.





 But despite the fact that I rarely turn on the evening news, I know...
-Twenty men were arrested in Chattanooga for involvement in child sex trafficking.
-Gang violence in downtown Chattanooga has increased to the point that the Chattanooga Times Free Press has created a database of individuals murdered there since 2011.  And all that people seem to be focusing on is the fact that Mohammed Abdulazeez found his way on to that list.  He is on a list of "justified murders."  I am pretty sure murder isn't the right word for that situation, but people seem to be missing the point.  That list is HUGE...currently at 113, with 22 of the murders happening just in the last 10 months!  That's the point.  The point is that we should shed tears over the massive number of lives lost, most at the hands of gang violence.
-An unidentified body was found in my town.
-There was a shooter at the little league park in my hometown where my little brother used to play baseball.
-School shootings are STILL happening.
-College sports recruiters are paying for strippers and sex for recruits to help draw potential athletes to their program.
-Smoking, that had recently become less widespread, has become more popular and excepted among a whole new generation of teenagers.
-Drugs are rampant.

Then came the song "Wedding Dress," also by Derek Webb.  This song was written to his maker.

If you could love me as a wife
And for my wedding gift your life

           God gave his life as our wedding gift.  It doesn't get much better than that.
Should that be all Ill ever need
Or is there more I'm looking for

And should I read between the lines
And look for blessings in disguise
To make me handsome, rich and wise
Is that really what you want

'Cause I am a whore, I do confess
I put you on just like a wedding dress
And I run down the aisle
I run down the aisle

Or Im a prodigal with no way home
I put you on just like a ring of gold
And I run down the aisle
I run down the aisle to you

          That's what we do, I guess I can only speak for myself. That's what I do.  I am so excited be his bride. I can't wait to get down the aisle and jump into his arms.  I am excited to be his.  Then I turn to other lovers.  My eyes stray and my feet wander.  I lose my way.  Then I throw on my white dress (it's white because he washed it) and run to him again.

So could you love this bastard child

          And each time I run to him, I run to him slower.  I go to him ashamed.  I am weighted down by my sin and think, "how could he still love me?"  But he does.  And he marries me all over again.  We were never divorced.  But in my heart I feel that way.  So we renew our vows.  He makes the same unbroken promises all over again.  And I make promises we both know I will break. 
Though I dont trust you to provide

          He always provides.  But I still get scared.
 With one hand in a pot of gold
And with the other in your side

'Cause I am so easily satisfied
By the call of lovers so less wild

          I get content with the beautiful earthly things he has given me and forget the masterpiece I can find in him.

But money cannot buy
A husbands jealous eye

          "He is jealous for me.  His love's like a hurricane.  I am a tree bending beneath the weight of his love and mercy."  I want to run down the aisle and not let go of his hand.  It's not quite as easy as it sounds.

Both these songs were heavy.  Bittersweet.  Honest.  Raw.

And God knew what I needed when the next two songs came on..."My Beloved," by Kari Jobe.

You're my beloved, you're my bride
To sing over you is my delight
Come away with me my love

Under my mercy come and wait
Till we are standing face to face
I see no stain on you my child

          He thinks I'm perfect just the way I am.

You're beautiful to me
So beautiful to me

I sing over you my song of peace

          First he played me songs that left me with pain and bitterness and shame and fear and sadness.  Then he SANG OVER me his song of PEACE.  He played in like a lion and serenaded out like a lamb.
Cast all your care down at my feet
Come and find your rest in me

          REST...

I'll breathe my life inside of you
I'll bear you up on eagle's wings
And hide you in the shadow of my strength

I'll take you to my quiet waters

          QUIET...
 I'll restore your soul

          RESTORATION...
Come rest in me and be made whole

You're my beloved, you're my bride
To sing over you is my delight
Come away with me my love

First he sang to me truth, then he revealed to me my sin, then he sang over me peace and forgiveness and love, then he danced with me...the dance in the kitchen in your socks kind of dance.

At the end of the block my students got to see me with headphones stuck in my ears rocking out to this Jesus song...this time I was smiling.  "Lay Em Down," by Needtobreathe

Come down to the river
Come and let yourself in
Make good on a promise
To never hurt again
If you're lost and lonely
You're broken down
Bring all of your troubles
Come lay 'em down

All you sinners
And the weak at heart
All you helpless
On the boulevard
Wherever you are now
Whatever evil you've found
Bring all of your troubles
come lay 'em down

We're all tied to the same old failings
Finding shelter in things we know
We're all dirty like corrupted small towns
Bring our troubles
Bring our troubles
And Lay 'em down

All you rich men
And the high above
All those with and without love
All you burdened, broken down
Bring all of your troubles
Come lay 'em down
 

Thank Jesus for speaking to me through my headphones this morning.

I'm laying em down.

Tuesday-Time for Bed

First I would like to say thanks to Dolly Parton and her Imagination Library.  She has blessed our family with fresh children's literature on a monthly basis for both of our boys once a month.  She gives these paper treasures simply out of the kindness of her own heart and a passion for childhood literacy. And I am truly convinced that she has a staff of individuals whose sole mission is to conduct research of exactly what a family is going through at each month of development. Either that, or she has hired a team of authors and illustrators to peer through the windows of the Strauss house each evening and document our lives in entertaining little storybooks.

The comforting truth must be that we aren't in this alone. We aren't the only family with a two-year-old son who only recently started sleeping in his own bed all night and a newborn still sleeping in a bassinet in our room. We aren't the only parents still having to tuck our toddler back into his bed multiple times a night.

Last night was only the third night in a row that we woke Shea up in the morning in his own bed AFTER our alarm went off.

So this month's delivery of the book "Back to Bed, Ed" by Sebastien Braun was a celebration of the three consecutive nights of successful sleeping before we have a relapse, perhaps later tonight.

But for now, I will just be catching up on some episodes of The League with my husband until one of our boys decides to wake up...or fall out of the bed like Shea did in the middle of me writing this post.

Goodnight, my friends.

Thank You...yes you!

http://inspiremore.com/nicu-nurse-reunion/?utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=postplanner&utm_source=facebook.com

First click the link above. It is a video of a NICU nurse getting some much deserved words and live images of the results of her love and dedication.
Sometimes we don't get the privilege of experiencing what she does in this video. But sometimes it is good to be reminded that the results of our love and effort come days, weeks, months, years down the road.
For those who don't know, our little Patten is the result of the effort, dedication, intelligence, and love of NICU nurses. They may never see little Patten again. And they probably wouldn't recognize him if they did. But he is a smiling, crying, babbling, eating, cuddling example that what they do matters.
Lately I have been giving pep talks and s shoutouts and words of encouragement to teachers. But now I'm giving props and high fives and fist bumps to doctors, caregivers, and nurses.

And the biggest hug goes out to my favorite nurse...who just happens to be my mom! Love you, Ma-muh!

Dear Meredith, daughter, mother, lady

I will begin with a public service announcement. Let's assume son=daughter, father=mother, and young man=lady.

1 John 2:12-15-I am writing to you, dear children, because your sins have been forgiven on account of his name. I am writing to you, fathers, because you know him who is from the beginning. I am writing to you, young men, because you have overcome the evil one. 

I write to you, dear children,

    because you know the Father.

I write to you, fathers,

    because you know him who is from the beginning.

I write to you, young men,

    because you are strong,

    and the word of God lives in you,

    and you have overcome the evil one.

He writes first to me as a child

He is my father

He sees me as I see my sons

I'm his daughter 

He knows I've messed up

Failed to drink from his cup

Not reflected him enough

But he says I'm forgiven

My sorry's enough

He sees past all of the times I've screwed up

He says I'm enough

Then he writes to me as a parent

Reminds me of my commitment

When we chose to have kids

Reminds me I KNOW him

And I KNOW how I should live

To show them how they should live

Then he writes to me as a young adult

My hair isn't yet silver and I'm not yet old

Though not advanced in my years

He says, "Lend me your ears

You have ALREADY overcome 

You are here so your job isn't done

But you've been forever changed by my son

And you are enough

Without all the fluff

And though you aren't perfect

You are whole since rebirth

You may not have all the answers

Or the gracefulness of dancers

Or your to-do list completed

Or your shortcomings deleted

Your house may not be cleaned

It could use some vacuuming

But, my dear, you have already overcome

By the blood of my son

You are all you need to be

So fix your eyes on me

AND JUST BE

Love, me"

Then he writes to us as children again

If we, as parents, know him

So will our kids

And because our kids know him

We see him in them

Then again, he writes, "young woman,

You are strong

In your heart is my song

In my lap is where you belong

You are strong

You are enough

You are strong enough!"

To Teachers, Moms, and my High-School Crazies

I am writing this in response to a  post beautifully written by a mom of six kids. She is overwhelmed by the amount of school supplies and back to school clothes she needs to buy when the year starts. She is stressed at the paperwork that needs to be filled out. But she remembers that the teachers are working just as hard and loving on her kids almost as much as she does.

It's beautiful. Read it.

http://alamocity.citymomsblog.com/2015/08/20/dear-teachers-youre-not-fooling-me/#lightbox/1/

Dear Loving Moms and My High School Crazies,

I am a mom of two little boys, and a wife of an amazing elementary school teacher, and an intervention reading and writing teacher to about 25 high-schoolers, and a case-manager for 27 IEPs.  I'm a little overwhelmed this time of year.  I read this article when I woke up at 5 am to feed my second boy who is 7 weeks old today. It's Saturday now, but I won't be sleeping in tomorrow, even if my boys let me. In a few hours we are going to watch one of my 5 siblings play in his first scrimmage as a college athlete at The University of the South. The baby just spit up and peed through his diaper at the same time so I gotta pause to take care of that and hope he goes back to sleep...

I'm back. And he did. He is a much better sleeper than his brother is or ever was.

I haven't spent hours at the store picking out cute stuff to make my classroom a little homier because we don't have a "cute classroom" envelope in our strict envelope budget system. My white brick walls are covered with taped pictures of the people I love and articles about the importance of not dropping out of high school. Unfortunately, against my best wishes and repeated pep talks and words of encouragement, some of them will drop out anyways. And even though it was a choice they made on their own, I still feel like I did something wrong. And I pray that what happens in that article won't happen to them. I pray they won't be statistic again. My walls don't have laminated posters of famous people with well-known quotes on them, because of that whole envelope system thing. And contrary to popular belief, none of the state's education budget goes to filling my room with posters, or even books for that matter. My joke of a classroom library contains books I loved when I was my students' age, and love to read again now, that would otherwise be on my shelf at home for my boys. I bought them in college while taking my favorite class ever, children's lit, back when I didn't need an envelope system. My job was running for the University of Tennessee-Chattanooga and my fast feet paid my bills. I didn't have a husband, 2 little boys, a car payment, bills, and a mortgage. My library shrinks every year and I try to tell myself my students loved the books as much as I did and took them home, even though I know they aren't big fans of reading. I think, "maybe, just maybe, they love reading (or hate it just a little less) after taking my class."  

The colorful quotes on my walls were quotes I found on Pinterest from not so famous people, handwritten in colorful marker and taped to those white bricks. 

I have some colorful baskets. They are filled with free spiral notebooks provided by our guidance office because someone knows our students probably can't afford them or don't care enough to bring them. But even the baskets are hand-me-downs from lots of teachers that came before me. I'm a little jealous of the pictures of my friends' classrooms that are super cutesy and have their students' names beautifully written and taped lovingly to their wooden desks. But most of my friends are elementary school teachers. I am pretty sure my high school students would think I was crazier than they already do if I did that. They wouldn't see it as an expression of my love for them and the excitement I have for them being in class, some of them for the fourth year in a row. This is not because they failed my class, but because I teach reading and writing to 9th, 10th, 11th, and 12th graders. I love having them again, even the ones that drive me absolutely insane. That is because I get to see them grow as people, and as readers, and as writers. When they graduate, I feel like I played a part in it. They aren't just students I taught for a semester. They are my babies. 

I hate the first day when they walk in my room and some of them say, "Ms. Strauss, why do I have to have your class AGAIN?" And it warms my heart to hear some of them say, "stop it guys. I love Ms. Strauss, and her class isn't that bad." I'll take "not that bad" from a teenager that has been forced to take my class again when they could be in Ms. Cooper's Zumba class :) any day. 

Last Monday, I dropped off my 6-week-old baby at daycare for the first time, along with my rowdy two-year-old. And I didn't even remember to take their first-day-of-daycare picture. (Thankfully their teachers did for me.)

I was too excited to go to my school and teach my other babies. I love being a teacher, even though I forget how much I love being a teacher about 90% of the time. 

I forget because I start to drown In pile of paperwork, or my kids are ignoring me AGAIN, or they won't put their cell phones away even though I have asked them 5 times, or a kid asks to be switched to a different lunch because they "don't have any friends in first lunch" even though I know they do and I spent hours working on their schedules so I wouldn't have to take them out of their favorite class, or my student refuses to do his work because he is too tired, or her boyfriend broke up with her, or his dog died, or their parents got a divorce, or they are hungry because they haven't had anything to eat since lunch YESTERDAY at school, or they were up late taking care of their baby, or their friend OD'd, or or they had to work late last night to help their family pay the bills. 

And some of it I understand, because I was in high school like them not too long ago. I remember having homework in all 5 of my classes on the same night. I stayed up way too late on the phone with my boyfriend, against my parents warnings, and fell asleep in class a time or two.  I ignored my teachers sometimes, too. Sometimes I hid my flip-phone under my desk where I thought they couldn't see it. I, too, tried to  get my schedule switched so I could be in the same lunch with my best friends, because there was a time when I didn't have a lot of friends either.  I've had my heart broken by a boy a few times in my life. Once, my dog died and I had to be in class the next day trying to hold back tears.  And my parents are divorced, too. They aren't alone.

The rest I feel for, but I can't even imagine. I never lived their life. I never walked in their shoes. I never went without a meal. There was always food on my table. I didn't have to raise a child until after I had a career and a husband. It's really hard to do and I don't have to do it alone. I was blessed to never have to see the effects of dangerous addictions on people I love. I didn't have to work to help pay my family's bills. They were busting their butts to make ends meet so I wouldn't have to while I was in school.  I can't relate. I don't know what it feels like. But I do hurt for them. My heart breaks for them. When they aren't around, I cry for them. Life shouldn't be that hard yet, because they are just kids. And most of the time I forget they aren't really my kids. Because I love them that much, even when they are hard to love.

I hope they know that I wake them up because Iove them. I take away their phones because I know they need to become better readers. I make them write a whole page about their feelings because one day it is going to be important to communicate their thoughts and feelings effectively. 

There are times when I can't communicate my thoughts and feelings about them and for them. I can't tell their teacher not to give them less homework. I can't fix their high school relationships. I can't let them catch up on sleep in my classroom, and I can't take their cell phone and throw it down a flight of stairs. I can't be a best friend matchmaker or change their schedule so they can find one. I can't bring their dog back to life or put their broken families back together. I can't put food on their tables, or feed them more than some candy and some pretzels from my lunch.  I can't pay their bills. I can't help them raise their babies. I can't take their friends'addictions away. So when I am at a loss for words, and don't know how to fix their problems or stop their hurt, I hug them. 

And then we take out a book and read. For about 30 minutes we are in another place together, enjoying the triumphs the protagonist is having, hurting over someone else's fictional problems, laughing at an author's wit, perusing the pages for plot and climax and similes and metaphors and personification. We search the novels for events we have experienced, characters we can relate to, and settings that take us somewhere else. Sometimes those stories are the only escapes they have.

And sometimes, near the end of the semester, a student will walk up to me and say, "I actually loved that book. I have never liked a book before."

That, my friends, is worth the mounds of paperwork, and whitewashed walls, and makeshift posters, and grumpy kids, and attitudes, and drool-stained desks, and self-funded classroom libraries. That is what keeps me going back. That is why I hate that I love to be a teacher. That brings me joy that outweighs the chaos that is the life of a high-school teacher. And when that student walks out of my classroom, I smile and rub my hands together and sigh and say, "my job here is done." ...until the next class walks in.

Finished Product Friday

Life has been crazy lately.  Being a stay-at-home mom is hard work. This 2-year-old is wearing this 34-week-pregnant-mom out.

He is nonstop energy, sweetness, entertainment development, and discovery. This makes me feel blessed to have this extra time one-on-one with my sweet little man to be a part of all of it. It amazes me how quickly he learns about the world that is so new to him. It is crazy to watch him go from the kid saying a word or two and us racking our brains to figure out what he is trying to tell us, to a kid communicating in sentences..."I watch Mickey TV please, Mommy?" "Mommy pitch gloves?" "I have more pop tarts, please?" "I sorry for hit, Mommy." "I love you SOOO MUCH!" 

But he is also a little frustration, confusion, crabbiness, whiny, noisy, aggressive, and rebellious. The whole terrible twos is not a myth. I wouldn't call him terrible by any means but his newfound independence has made him a little sassy. He thinks rules don't apply. He thinks anything and everything is his for the taking and messing and throwing. He thinks he can always have what he wants when he wants it. And when he doesn't get it, he thinks it is perfectly acceptable to hit or bite or cry to tell you just how much he wants it. And that makes me so tired, and frustrated and impatient at times. Sometimes I lose my temper. Sometimes I don't use MY inside voice. Sometimes I temporarily forget that he is still a new human just learning how to be a person, just as much as I am a newish mother learning how to be a parent. But I have also seen God building up in me more patience and calm than I had before. I am learning that I can't do it alone. I am seeing more of God's grace in the moments where I mess up and Shea turns out okay anyways. The times when I have to tell my little boy sorry for how I reacted and he hugs me and says he loves me remind me of my Father's love and forgiveness.

 There is no still or chill in this little one. But because he is more or less an energy drink in a 27-pound package, he is FINALLY taking decent naps. 

And what a blessing that 1-2 hours a day has been. Not only do I get to fight him for 15 minutes to stay in bed, but I get to spend the next 10 minutes or so singing and cuddling my little person and holding his hand until he finally gives up fighting. Then I get to do the other things I love, like crocheting and sewing. And thanks to that quiet time, here is what I have finished this week. Before this week I have been busy making memory blankets like these twin onesie quilts.

But this week I have been doing IN-MEMORY projects. A dear friend from high school sent me this message a little while back.

"Hey Meredith,

Hope you are doing well, I see you're expecting your second little boy is well. 😊 I have a couple of sort of special baby quilts I would like to have made I was wondering if you were possibly interested in doing them for me...I am expecting another boy in July, and my brother Alex is expecting his first at the end of August. We were both very close to my grandmother who passed away in 2008, and for as long as anyone can remember she was always wearing the silk pajamas. Not real silk of course just some kind of fake polyester. I have a pair of those and I would like to have a baby quilt made for both of our children that incorporated those pajamas into patches. nothing large just small baby quilts." 

So here is what she got. This is quilt #1.

Working on number 2 during today's nap if all goes as planned...which it often doesn't.

This is the second In-Memory project I finished this week...another mermaid wrap blanket.

This one was extra special, and here is why. This is the text I received with her custom order.

"Oh my gosh I have been looking for someone to make these for me for a year now! My best friend and I both shared a love for mermaids and she passed away last summer, our favorite colors were pink and purple and she loved lime green, could I possibly get one with those colors?"

I love how it turned out and so did she. 

I hope it brings her comfort. 

I would love to do more projects like these (or any projects for that matter), so message me here or on Facebook if you are interested. 

To-Do List Tuesday-Before Baby #2

Baby Patten Turner Strauss will be joining the family soon.  Not sure when, but going from previous experience with his big brother, Shea, who decided to mix things up by trying to come 7 weeks early, it could be soon. But if he decided to be like most babies he may not be here until his due date on July 29th. Gotta wait and see.

But there is quite a to-do list to finish before he arrives. I am blessed to say that list is MUCH shorter than it was last week. My dad and little brother came and did some extensive house-prepping and cleaning and detailing the past several days. I cannot thank them enough for all of the love and hard work they put into our house that had bit by bit gotten a little out of hand.

They cleaned out our whole garage and added shelves to store our stuff that doesn't have a spot in the house. That included burning a pile of about 70 cardboard boxes that had accumulated since we moved in a few years ago, and shop-vaccing crawly critters who decided to make those boxes home. As soon as we have our next yard sale we will be able to fit 2 cars in the garage, which hasn't been possible since we moved here.  

The kitchen appliances are sparkling, the windows are clean, the floors and baseboards are scrubbed. A few minutes ago Shea left the living room and headed in the kitchen.  He's supposed to stay in the living room with me. When I asked him to come back he started crying. "I white, I white." I am not yet fluent in toddler speak but I am getting there. I was stumped.  I said, "show Mommy what you want."  He grabbed a dish towel off the stove, ran back in the room, and proceeded to "white" (wipe) the windows.  "I clean, Mommy."  He has learned a servant's heart by watching the people he loves and looks up to.  I think his love language is acts of service like his daddy and my daddy.  So I smiled and thanked him and gave him a big hug because my love language is physical touch.  :)

Paint has been touched up. We could probably sell this house tomorrow if we wanted to.  They left early this morning to drive back to Texas leaving behind a different house than the one they arrived at.  We are truly grateful.  

To-Do List

-Finsh organizing Patten's nursery and Shea's bedroom

-have another yard sale to clear out the rest of the garage

-clean my bedroom and bathroom as well as the rest of the house has been cleaned

-organize my arts and crafts from the studio in my basement (see previous post)

-finish the edging on My brother's high school t-shirt quilt

-make some quilts for my friend from high school

It's done list

-twin onesie quilts

-puppy quilt for Ryder

-photo props for Lorie 

(who happened to have done an amazing job on Shea's one and 2 year old pictures)

Www.lorieallison.com

-a crocheted baby blanket

-and another mermaid wrap blanket

If you are interested in having me make you something, either message me on Facebook or leave a comment at the bottom of this post.

I love my crazy life and am so thankful for the help with the craziness.

Today's to-do list includes joining my hubby for lunch at UTC followed by a visit to the doctor to check up on our little Patten...hopefully followed by a nap for the other little one when we get home.

We may not have it all together at the Strauss house, but we are on our way, works-in-progress. And God is using us and molding us and teaching us and humbling us and LOVING US in the midst of the madness.

My verse for today:

If I say "my foot slips," your mercy will hold me up. In the multitude of my anxieties within me, your comforts delight my soul. Psalms 94:18-19

I was anxious, thinking "how in the world will it all get done? We aren't even close to being ready for Patten. This place is a mess and I don't know where to start. How are we going to afford another one?" But it is getting done. And we have been blessed with resources and help to make life more organized. And God will provide what we need just like he always does. He has brought comfort and joy to my soul in the form of organization and family.  Now that they have headed home, I am homesick but I'm looking forward to a family reunion soon when Patten comes. 

WIP (Work in Progress) Wednesday-Shea

Today is my son's second birthday!

My how time has flown!  

I must say this kid may be the coolest 2-year-old out there.  He is a blast.  Lately he is obsessed...and I mean OBSESSED...with all things sports and Mickey Mouse.  He loves watching baseball, basketball, and hockey.

His two favorite people are the goalie and the umpire.  In his own words he loves them "SO MUCH!" 
He knows the umpire says, "strike one, strike two, strike three, you're out, and SAFE!"  He goes around the house throwing balls, swinging bats, and sliding into imaginary bases.  

Hockey is a new obsession.  He likes to tell us that the goalie wears a helmet, gloves, and pads, and he carries a hockey stick. 
Until a few weeks ago, he could have cared less about cartoons.  But out of nowhere he is now crazy about Mickey Mouse, more specifically, the Road Rally episode.  For that reason, he will be having a Mickey-themed birthday party this Saturday.  I can't wait!  I happened to stumble upon a Mickey Mouse Road Rally cake at Publix.  The design has actually been retired but they said they had one kit left at the store.  I felt like I deserved a mom-of-the-year award when I found this cake.  

Shea is a super-sweet, super-entertaining, super-cuddly, super-fun kid....MOST OF THE TIME.  But let me tell you, he sure is a work in progress.  I am not one to claim my child is perfect.  Lately he has needed frequent reminders to have nice hands and a nice mouth with his friends.  This is code word for no hitting or biting. Bedtime is a fight almost every night. He likes to say no and will make a run for it any chance he gets. And sometimes he uses his dogs as baseball tees. But he is learning to be a person and we are learning to be parents. Life is good and we are blessed with our little work in progress.

On my sewing table (cough cough kitchen table) is one of two twin quilts. I am sewing on the back now. 

What is your work in progress?